Tag: grief

  • Requiem

    They say your heart aches.
    Mine doesn’t. My back does.
    There is an uncomfortable feeling in my spine.
    It doesn’t hurt, exactly, I just know it is there every second.
    Tears occasionally leak from my eyes, like pus from a wound.
    They have no meaning and bring no relief.
    My mind is desperately searching for something:
    words, feelings, escape –
    but there is nothing there.
    Just a body:
    stupid,
    mute,
    incomprehensible.
    Experience unmitigated,
    voiceless scream,
    feeling that has no name:
    not sadness,
    not pain,
    not anger –
    nothing eating at my bones,
    squeezing my tear-ducts,
    stripping off words,
    exposing the emptiness inside and out.
    My thoughts go into familiar grooves
    and then slide off again – into nothing…
    I feel old.
    I feel chilly with understanding
    that most things just are.
    Not for something.
    Not because of something.
    They are – and there is the end to it.
    Here.
    Now.
    It.

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