There are times in life when synaesthesia becomes inescapable,
when water smells like lead and feels blue…
when you forget what things are supposed to be and –
just for a second –
perceive some of what they are…
or – a more frightening thought –
you forget what you are supposed to be…
As each of us is unique, each has a potential world unique to oneself.
A world where one is genuine, and passionate, and in love…
not quite with oneself, but rather with one’s potential,
with one’s capacity to inhabit it fully and honestly, without fears and excuses.
Some of us are lucky enough to catch a glimpse of this world and even share its reflection.
Most of us yearn for it and wither and die inside for the lack of it…
Ontogenesis repeats phylogenesis…
As in individual psyche,
when the walls we have built in our cultures start cracking,
the horrors from the past come through
and remind us of a large part of who we are.
Enter at your own risk…
I dislike contemporary fairy tales…
Not the folk tales they are often based on –
they were the tools for understanding the world,
and true to it.
They were about love and indifference,
loyalty and betrayal,
blood, sweat, tears, joy and laughter.
They were about making decisions and growing up…
Contemporary fairy tales are almost exactly the opposite:
fairy dust glitters,
wishes come true,
everyone remains infantile and lives happily ever after…
The only things they teach are entitlement and disappointment.
Have you ever met a bride whose wedding
lived up to her expectations?
Years pass, one after another, and we grow into our skins and become who we are…
rebels or conformists, we all do our best to be comfortable in our own skins,
and we grow to be so, one way or another.
And then we notice that the edifice we built for ourselves is built on ruins –
decaying empty rooms, some boarded up, some decorated in cloying pastels, all – dead…
How do you replace the foundation when you live on the second floor?
You know about compensatory senses?
How blind people develop more acute hearing and so on?
Well, I can barely see, and my hearing is none too good.
So, I had to develop a compensatory sense of humour.
